Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
