i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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