Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
