More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Randomize
