Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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