Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
