it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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