please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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