i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
