I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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