So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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