I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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