im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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