When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
