i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Randomize
