Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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