I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We left an ass print on the piano.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
