You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
