i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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