Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
