why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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