So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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