Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
