WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
