I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
