Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize