Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize