If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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