she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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