Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We are all done wearing pants today
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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