I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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