i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
