It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
