If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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