Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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