his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
