wanna go halves on a baby?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
