ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
