I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
