i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
