somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
