I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The air taste purple.
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