so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
