dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
