Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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