So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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