yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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