I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
