the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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