i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it glows. i had to have it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.