Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
