it's like iHOP with fire
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
