I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
