Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
