beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
