forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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