Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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