i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
