my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
