9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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