Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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