That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
