two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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