first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Cover your peen. We're going out.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
