Tell her she can't have a vagina
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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