Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
